Middle Child Syndrome

"The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things."



Have you ever felt like that? Like you have no equal importance like your other siblings. Like everything you do seems to be wrong. Like you are always left out.

Back then, i always thought that it is just some unfortunate twist of fate that i am not equally provided with a lot of things like my other siblings. I would just sigh out of envy for what i do not have. I would only grit my teeth out of contempt because there's not much i can do about it. "Favoritism" is the word. And hell no, i am not the favorite.

Maybe i have done too far out of my "hinanakit". I made such a big decision for myself, defying my parents' authority, but it's a decision i never regretted doing. A decision i have always been so happy about. But parents don't forgive an injury and never forget an insult. And for that mistake (for them, at least), i suffer from harsh words, over and over again. Words i never heard them throw at my brother and sister, no matter how big their mistake might be. And then why me?

They say you could not choose your parents... but that also goes by saying parents could not choose their children.

But of course, i still love my family... I just wish they would see me as i am..